I was at a friend’s apartment tonight. At their posh complex, they do not provide guest parking of any kind. The living spaces sit atop a local shopping venue with a limited time garage. In the past I’ve gone over here and there but never got a ticket.
Tonight was a stressful one. My allergies have been acting up so to combat this persistent condition of symptoms, I picked some Flonase. As a spray, I didn’t expect anything to go wrong, spray up nostrils, breathe in, wait. I am used to taking Benadryl and Claitin for my condition but not today! Yet I wound up staying significantly later than usual – I won’t drive if I am tired (note, will discuss that reasoning on another post). So, much to my slight surprise, I had a yellow envelope with a ticket declaration. I sat in my car, thought about how my night went, then drove home and paid my ticket. I wasn’t upset. I was in the wrong. There’s really nothing to say why I was over, so I can pay. I *did* pay. And I’m glad I did and from now one will do my damnedest to not park there. Lesson learned.
Time to go to sleep.
I just finished watching “Me and Earl and the Dying Girl” this balmy June evening. I knew it had a list of fancy awards and the poster design was simple enough. Be warned, my friends, that one should never judge a book by the cover.
Lift it and begin reading.
I will tell you it captured moments I recalled in high school- the awkward yet pressing need to have my identity crafted in a sea of students I saw more than my family. I was drawn to Greg’s perspective and Earl’s openness and Rachel’s own pendulum of life experiences. I was taken by the hand, with diverse and poignant soundtrack in tow, through a delicate myriad of a layered cake called Life, all flavors known but the recipe a trade secret.
People think summer blockbusters are what we need in life- famous faces and shiny things that go boom. This film had the occasional boom, a sparkle here and there but you’ll see what I mean when you observe the film. But I dare you to get off the internet, leave your escapism expectations behind, and go to school with “Me and Earl and the Dying Girl.” Director Alfonso Gomez-Rejon wove an amazing story. I personally send him my love. Enjoy it. Let something else go boom in the world today.
marry for the wrong reasons
love for every reason
feel the world through the five within
forge a fake thick skin
and so i wonder and so i ponder
to find the sixth sense, the next dimension
i marry until death do us part
but love shall always tuck you in my heart
to whom could these words ever find a place in the world of pictures, of status updates, minute tweets that can’t hook a real deal in the grand scheme of life
i wonder how far and wide the world is
yet how shallow we are in this moment
in this space
in this place
i’ll throw down my only ace
and here I’ll state my case
can you even say it to my face
and then think you can disappear w/o a trace?
these words will be nothing more than another message you scrolls down, as a website manipulates, bends and controls what you consume in this moment.
don’t mind me
don’t mind me a bit
my words will never make you think, make you wonder, make you ponder, make you ever so curious
when was the last time you had a speck of empathy
over the ego moment of consume, consume, consume, consume this delicious world that feeds you junk, feed feed feed…
what mouth are you feeding today?
I’ve had this idea for a few months now, this domain and my ideals, all lumped in one place. I’ve been spread thin for far too long. I don’t know where I belong. I have a myriad collection of sites and media I utilize, but I don’t feel invested in the long term, at all.
Just naming some places I’ve been dreaming the last few years:
- twitter (multiple “identities”)
- journal sites that are now defunct
- various forums
So I don’t know how to connect and utilize them to my advantage. My advantage, I mean, feeling less like a consumer and more like a creator. Ultimately, I want to be able to create and share and add value to the lives I encounter. It’s not an ego thing. I’m just a very giving person. I do want to find ways to survive, but more importantly, I want to thrive in this life and see others do the same. I guess I have to thank my family for those ideals -never giving up on others even if we see that their life patterns aren’t matching our own ideals, always welcoming people last minute to dinner and parties to connect, and overall being present and supportive to those that matter to us.
So here is to ground zero. I’ll transfer some of my ideas that I’ve already put up on another platform and come to utilize a website that can help me get connected to the world around me.
Cheers! Time to stretch and explore!